good
Author's Response: :)
Reviews For The Captive
Date: June 03, 2022 09:12 AM [Report This]
Wow! Is only description to give. The story builds slowly coming to an unusual finish which was excellent. Great description of what was going on from start to finish. Really enjoyed this "something different" story. Well done to author.
Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much :) x
Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much :) x
Date: September 21, 2019 03:59 AM [Report This]
I've had a similar scenario stuck in my head for ages, noit quite the same though. Nice to read it. Most enjoyable.
Date: March 06, 2012 01:11 PM [Report This]
Well described, detailed transformation with eventual acceptance and enjoyment of new body and mind.
Date: August 20, 2010 02:48 PM [Report This]
Great use of description, imagery, and the mental process. All comes together for a great story.
Date: April 15, 2010 11:09 PM [Report This]
The day-by-day breakdown is one of my favorite ways of describing a slow change. This is a hot story. It has clothing fetish and blowjobs and gangbangs and cross dressing and surgeries. This is a hot story...for someone else. For me, our hero's report of events was too clinical. If you're writing at the XXX level, the double-penetration scene should take up more text than the description of the room.
Personally, I'd have liked more brain bending. Again, our protagonist here cooperates clinically. We're in his HEAD. We hear only about his cooperation, never his struggle! Conflict is what great tales are made of. Consider "I wanted the pain to stop so I sucked the dick. A lot." Versus the following lines delivered in chapter after chapter: "I had to do it. The collar hurt too much." "It was starting to become routine. The collar hardly had to shock me." "When he took out his pe--cock I sunk to my knees, knowing what to do. Can I really call myself a man if I'm sucking cock so readily?" "There were two of them this time. I couldn't believe how quickly I sucked and jerked them both until their cum was on my face. Men cum on girl's faces. I must be a girl." "At the party, he just shoved me down and told me to suck cock like a good little girl."
I could go on with this, but I've made my point. And a tent.
Author's Response: Thanks for this, it's good to get constructive critisism and I do appreciate it. Gail x
Personally, I'd have liked more brain bending. Again, our protagonist here cooperates clinically. We're in his HEAD. We hear only about his cooperation, never his struggle! Conflict is what great tales are made of. Consider "I wanted the pain to stop so I sucked the dick. A lot." Versus the following lines delivered in chapter after chapter: "I had to do it. The collar hurt too much." "It was starting to become routine. The collar hardly had to shock me." "When he took out his pe--cock I sunk to my knees, knowing what to do. Can I really call myself a man if I'm sucking cock so readily?" "There were two of them this time. I couldn't believe how quickly I sucked and jerked them both until their cum was on my face. Men cum on girl's faces. I must be a girl." "At the party, he just shoved me down and told me to suck cock like a good little girl."
I could go on with this, but I've made my point. And a tent.
Author's Response: Thanks for this, it's good to get constructive critisism and I do appreciate it. Gail x
Date: July 01, 2009 06:17 PM [Report This]